he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize