I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize