I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
