Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
foreskin is a definite game changer
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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