If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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