Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize