Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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