checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize