Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
