I just found puke in my bra..
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
