i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize