we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize