No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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