They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize