I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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