I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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