One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
