So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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