protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
