I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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