10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
