please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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