if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
