yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
