apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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