Me. At least after what I've been through.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
