there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
