i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
