Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
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