You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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