Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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