Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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