i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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