I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
