Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
