I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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