Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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