Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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