Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
