Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
