i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize