wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
