I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
