I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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