I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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