Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
