I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
