I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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