I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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