so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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