What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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