So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize