I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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