Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
