mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
