ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I think people are normalizing furries
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
