I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize