I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize