need another drink. this is the easiest way
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
