the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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