Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
