I am puke
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
