I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
