i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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